Seeking for Wisdom 02

Proverbs 11:28- A life devoted to things is a dead life..a stump.

A God shaped life is a flourishing tree.

(as scribbled in my journal)

Priorities, priorities, priorities

If lady wisdom were around she'd probably be shaking her head with that tsk, tsk, tsk thing going on.  It seems like more and more there are more and more distracting things thrown into our already ADHD worlds (things, things, things).

it's a fight to see if we are really making the right priorities

What we are holding and valuing in the highest regard.

What things are demanding our attention and are they even worth gaining our attention?

Our we God pleasing? or man pleasing? 

Is living Kingdom minded a fashion fleeting away or are we the pioneers of a revolution of God seeking, God fearing, power shaking, earth changing warriors?

Is it my four and no more?

Do we recognize the God shaped life?

I want a God shaped life..one that flourishes, thrives, grows, evolves into eternal goodness. 

Shake everything that can be shaken.

Starting with our priorities.

i love with the Lord speaks through wisdom.

make time..find the time..

this has been the first summer where I haven't worked at the daycare (summer camp).  After 5 years of teaching and working each summer 30 to 40 hours, I felt like this summer I would just hang out and relax, enjoy the time I had on my hands...read, craft, create, do nothing.

I have to admit.  I found myself with too much time on my hands.  All my family and friends were at work so there was limited hang out availability.  I was able to read, to rest, to relax, to do nothing....but I became restless.  I became ready to explode with action and an outlet for something.  Then it came up that my in law's needed some help working at their furniture store.  I would only be working 2 days a week and get to work those days with my husband.  I've never sold furniture in my life and it def. forced me to step out of my teaching is life comfort zone.  But it's been good to have something to do.  It's been good to be uncomfortable.

God's been speaking to me about comfort zones. How dangerous it can be if we remain, take refuge, and refuse to move out of our comfort zones.  For comfort, familiarity, can breed complacency. I'm leaning how to see God in the uncomfortable places.  In those things that scratch and provoke me (not in a bad way).  For it's in our moments of un-comfort that God requires us to step up, rely on Him, trust solely on Him, believe that He will meet us.

I also have came to the revelation through my reflections on time this summer that:
1) Idle time is no good. No friend. It leaves for idle thoughts and an open door for the enemy to step in and start whispering lies.
2) Time management is key. I have also learned that I enjoy having a schedule and following it.
3). Letting God invade my time and wreck my "schedules" is well worth it, no matter how big of a fit I pitch.

Sent

 

:lately (for months actually) I have been struggling with church, what the church has become, and what’s going on within churches that it has gripped me in a way I’ve never experience before. A way I have wrestled with and tried to understand.  It’s taken me awhile but I’m finally at a uncomfortable place where I can recognize it and deal with it.  

Bottom line is this: I am not satisfied and I know it’s time for the church to AWAKE.  Not just my local church home but I’m referring to the BODY as a whole….it’s many members…it’s entire entity.  I am not satisfied with settling and doing/living the bare minimum.  I do not attend church to watch musicians give concerts, I attend church expecting the spirit of the Lord to be ushered in.  I go to worship, to press in, to let God’s spirit have it’s way so that His will can be fulfilled. Not man’s agenda or good ideas.  I do not like routine services where everything is expected.  I do not like when we compromise the Holy Spirit.  I also am not satisfied with the lack of preaching and taking the good news out into the streets. 

How reassuring to know that I am not alone in my un-satisfaction and that there are other people out there with the same irritations and frustrations.  And while I went through the various stages of not knowing what to do about all this, of wanting to change but not channeling my efforts in the right directions, God has slowly began speaking to me and my attitude has changed.  I am no longer frustrated to the point where I just sit back and watch it happen, my fight instinct has started to arise and bubble within me.  And now that it’s here I should have known it would have been coupled with the fight/the opposition.

For you see for the first time in a long time, I was ready to go to church. Not to see if things would be different, not to see friends and family or check out the musicians, but because something in my spirit had changed. An urgency was there.  I was excited again.  This morning everything went wacky (woke up later than the alarm was intended for, our 2 year old lab peed in her crate and in the floor and she never has accidents, the enemy had me feeling my husband was against me, my bath water was cold, and I didn’t have time to get ready due to all these set backs and delays) and left me feeling smothered by lowly feelings that I had no motivation to fight back from this attack.  I gave up.

I was really feeling down on myself for allowing the enemy to get one over on me that I just  began to weep and cry.  Praise God for speaking through my husband who encouraged me.  He basically conveyed “yeah okay Jennie so you messed up, you gave up and didn’t fight, but God’s still here in this room this very second. You might not have made it to church but you can still fight here.” I was so encouraged and that sense of being a failure evaporated. 

So I picked up a bible study at Lifeway last week called SENT: Living the Missional Nature of the Church by Ed Stetzer.  So this morning I started to read the introduction and it was confirmed that this study did not leap out of the shelves for no reason. 

Here are a few snippets from the introduction that really stuck out to me:

“Missional is an important word because it doesn’t describe what we do as Christ-followers; it describes who we are as Christ-followers”

“By definition the church is a body of believers sent into the world. But many churches, particularly in the United States, seem to have developed a more stationary identidy, requiring the world to come to them to receive the healing, redemption, and salvation promised through Christ”

He went on to explain it’s like we’ve planted our feet within our comfortable church walls and said ‘come to us” instead of us going out and MOVING OUR FEET and saying to the world hey “we’re coming”

“The Holy Spirit is awakening the idea in us that any church that does not affect real change in it’s community, country, and the world is severely neglecting it’s true purpose”

So if you share in my feelings, or have ever felt like this before I truly believe things are getting ready to change.  And you, the general reader can be a part of the change..the movement. So don’t feel bad in your dis-satisfaction. You shouldn’t. Because there’s more. We weren’t called to settle.

 

So Get Going…..

embracing provision

Last Monday I started to experience some discomfort with my bottom teeth. I knew immediately it had to be wisdom teeth related (which have been embedded in my gums for quite some time now)I got a dentist appointment made for that afternoon for X rays.

Come to find out my bottom 2 wisdom teeth are growing in sideways straight into the roots/bones of my other teeth which has caused an infection which is why I was starting to have some pain there. The dentist wrote me out an antibiotic and referred me to an oral surgeon.

Tuesday I went to my consultative appointment to find out that all 4 teeth would be cut out but that the bottom 2 would be more difficult (and cost more money). One is very close to a nerve and the surgeon was a little concerned as to why I had waited so long to have them out. He proceeded to explain that there was a 1-2% chance for one tooth that i could temporarily loose feeling in my cheek and lip and the other has a 5-7% chance. Granted that's still a low percentage it didn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

So I have been battling my fears of being put under for surgery and just fears in general as I do not like the dentist, drilling, etc let alone cutting my teeth out and leaving holes.

The date of my surgery will be April 1st at 9:30 am. I have to pay upfront 950.00. Luckily I do have the funds to cover the surgery but it will have to be pulled from wedding savings. Even still that's okay as well because I am getting a good sized tax return back. It was as if God knew the timing for the whole situation and had already put the provisions in place.

But I must be honest that it took me awhile to be thankful and not pout/whine/and complain. It was real easy for me to be upset that my plans were interuppted (for example: spending my spring break recovering instead of all the other plans I had, having to borrow money from the wedding fund). But God really started getting in my business and reminded me that I should be celebrating and praising Him for lining everything up so that it would be taken care of.

I could have not even had the money to cover the surgery. I could have had to taken off days from work and miss pay. I had to see things from His perspective and not my own. Sure it didn't look exactly how I thought it would look, and sure I'm nervous and scared all at the same time. But my God is a mighty God. He has already made a way and provided. He will keep a careful watch over me during my surgery and He will heal my body in a quick recovery. I just have to start believing Him at His word.

So I say all this to say...embrace the provisions God puts in your life. Be thankful that God makes a way and is faithful...even if it's not what you had in mind.

Forgiveness. Offense. Time Out

Sunday at church our pastor spoke on the topic of forgiveness and offense; something I've heard so many times but yet for some reason there was such profound revelation flowing. When Jesus was on the cross they offered up to Him a gall (bile/nasty/poison like liquid)- which represented offense/bitterness in the message. Jesus took a sip and as soon as He tasted it, He spit it out. He didn't even allow it into His body. (application: instead of taking on the offense and bitterness of what was being done to Him, He chose not even to allow it inside His body, He spit it out-He didn't receive that offense, that bitterness).

Then on top of all of the crap He had been through, the ridicule, the brutal beating and torture, the mockery, before His very last breath He asked God to FORGIVE THEM. Woah. I mean seriously. Think how upset we get when someone cuts us off on the road or does something to us that we feel is wrong and multiply that by some infinite number that I cannot come up with to compare what Jesus had to face.

We don't have to receive offense...when someone offends us it's our choice to spit it out, or swallow it and allow it to breed bitterness within us.

That was huge for me. And it really went down into the deep places. So as encouragement to all readers out there: you have a choice to become offended when someone wrongs you. Spit it out, or swallow it.

I still have MUCh to learn and walk out in terms of forgiveness, but this changed my whole outlook regarding the situation.



I had to fly some things to God and just let go. (real simple small things-but important to Him nonetheless) I don't want anything in the way of getting closer to YOU.

Dance before the Lord

I have been inspired to be a better blogger. A more consistent blogger. I have to do something to get back into the swing of putting my thoughts/feelings down on paper (because I've been so neglectful to my journal). If you're any random person this may not mean much to you, but if you know me and how much I enjoy writing, you will realize this is something of importance to me.



I was reminded of my childhood when dance was a passion before I ever got into cheerleading. I can't help but often wonder what my life would have been like if I would have pursued more of the arts, (dance, paitning, anything creative). I guess it's never too late to pick back up faded dreams still in working conditions. God's timetable and plans are much different than my own so who I am to say I'm too old for this, or not good anymore at that?

Also the dance ministry is about to get back up and running again and I am eagerly awaiting what God is going to do through us..through this. I've been having dreams about us being out and ministering/outreaches so I know it's time to get moving.

speaking of dreams
....
there was a time in the very start of 2008 that I was dreaming every night (detailed, graphic dreams- most were from the Lord), but I haven't in awhile.

Let my expectations not limit you God.

(all photos are not my own, they come from a photobucket search)

can you feel it in your veins? moving through your body?

After reading an article in RELEVANT magazine regarding the New Aged Atheists, my prayers and petitions to God began to rise with an urgent force. I remember asking God, "What about the atheists? How will You work their hearts? What should I pray?..".....

We cannot be silenced, but we must not engage in a battle full of heated debates and banters that leave us looking less like Christians and leaving behind the most important key ingredient...THE LOVE OF GOD...

As I was praying, and later meditating upon the word, I became full of peace as the Lord showed me multiple things. I saw men and women of God that will carry the wisdom of the Lord with such a fire that when they open their mouths to speak, all those in attendance (Christians and non-christians) will fall to the floor and KNOW that GOD IS REAL.

I saw radical and miraculous signs and wonders..blind eyes opened, limbs growing back, healings, deliverances...such supernatural greatness that causes the hairs on your arm to stick up and even the hardest atheist would not be able to deny God's existence or power.

I saw scrolls full of words that will silence, hush, shut up any argument made against God.

I saw this huge candle with a large flame. Whoever carried the candle would walk into dark places , hidden spaces, and the flame would melt the hardness and expose the dark. Once those things in the dark adjusted to the light, they wanted to follow the light, be near the warmth. The light of Christ was leading them out of darkness.

I saw arrows of authority being shot into Christians' backs and once they were hit, their whole entire body vibrated with this newfound power to move, change, liberate, justify, and make ready a way.

I wanted to see more..I knew there was more to see, but this was enough to move me to pray

to share this with others

to hopefully burn this motivation and desire in others to

pray, interceed, get into God like never before

Something HUGE is coming..and He will use those with hungry and ready hearts.

God told me that all the things I saw were not just for my inquiries regarding the atheists...those who are agnostic and looking for truth.

But rather He said, "Jennie, this is for all those who need me, this is for the world."

The closer we go with God, the more He's going to entrust to us. I want to be reliable. I want to be trustworthy.

We must go harder, deeper with a deligence that won't let up nor back down.

Some of you may feel the currents of God move through you right now. He's speaking. But how can you help? What can you do?

It's simple. It's everywhere

It's avaliable

...fall deeper in love with God, repent of your wrongdoings, fast, PRAY PRAY PRAY, drown yourself in the Word, set the Lord as a seal upon your heart, worship, attend church, bible studies, minster to someone everday, reach out to the hurt and broken, buy someone lunch, bless someone, pray for someone, sit with an elderly person and just be with them, love your enemies, exercise your gifts, have faith to move a mountain, be faithful, give, ...

it's endless

but we must do something



It moves.



It rumbles



It's coming



what??

I don't know..

all I know is I wanna be there to find out

Dont' you?

Open Wide

Indeed it tarries, yet still I wait for it

I feel like I'm being spun into this new dimension with God that I'm not ready for but it's as if something higher is forcing me into a corner where God has to get in my face and lay it all out before me. I've felt so silenced in my thoughts and my feelings have been put on mute for awhile now.

Why?
I wish I knew.

A block has formed it's way into my heart just as a clogged artery and I feel like everything inside me has been frozen to things I used to know, think, and feel. God is doing things before me in the spiritual that haven't manifested in the natural that move inside me. I cannot see what takes place before me, all I know is He's moving me, burning things, breaking things. And all this time resistance has stuck it's ground. I've been so non compliant to whatever is taking place. So closed up and stubborn but I have no clue why. Prayer is much needed.

At any rate..I haven't written or blogged anything in awhile (hence the resistance, the writers block, the lack of motivation). But I'm breaking the mold today and moving forward.

April 16th marked the deadliest school shooting in American History and I did a lot of writing during that time frame. A lot of praying and crying. Monday night I watched Jesus Camp. (A MUST SEE)

"I finally watched Jesus Camp tonight and it really stirred my spirit woman back to it's alerted stance. As I listened to one man bash the evangilistic move and criticize the radical movement of God, I found myself moved by compassion to pray for him and others like him. Everyone has their own opinions, motives, agendas, and beliefs. All my heart could do was cry out for revelation to drop down and explode! Revelation so intense that it stirs and burns away every opinion man may hold, view, or carry. No more watered down gospel and no more pick and choose value meals from the scriptures. I pray for an impartation of God encounters and revelation that will shake the foundations of this nation. Break ties that bind, sever roots birthed from false doctrine. Cause a spiritual uproar to be released from the heavenlies and align your people in a unified march towards our individual callings as well as our cooperate callings. Do what you must Lord. Burn a flame so deep into the hearts of the intercessors, but let us as Your people not soley rely on the intercessors to check in with Your heart. What IS ON YOUR HEART GOD? What's on Your heart? Let us be the bride who yearns to know the heart of the Father at all costs. Fill us with a restless passion that cannot be fufilled or stilled until we press in closer to You. Let intimacy no longer lay dormant in the pages of our past, let the covenants be established, renewed, and the celebration to CEASE NOT! We throw out our old wineskins , we no longer hoard and stash our idols in the closet. Send forth a holy exposure upon Your people. "

That Wednesday the 18th during our youth service at church we really pressed in and prayed Virginia Tech and the tradegy that had befallen upon them. That night I just kept hearing in my Spirit: God will be the remedy to the tradegy"

Something was said by Mandy Mason that night that shook my bones. She said, "Some of us haven't been living with eternity in view. Those who went to class that day did not know that in seconds their lives on earth would adruptly end." WOW. ....................Everything started to come together as I soaked in God's prescence. If we really started living with eternity in view think of the things we would start to actually do!!! We would stop waiting around and start living. I couldn't help but think of all the things I wanted to do for God and that He wants me to do before I stare eternity in the face. How disappointed would I be standing before Him knowing I wasted time sitting around in complaceny and just "being". As I started listing all the things in my heart I wanted to do I started to cry as God continued to question what I was waiting for. When revelation hits you it goes deep.

"Stagnant solitude no longer holds me up, no longer satisfies the longings and pressings in my heart. What have i been waiting for? What has the church been waiting on? As Andrew said "Why are we waiting for someone to qualify us as good enough? When did the blood of Jesus stop being not enough for us? THE BLOOD IS ENOUGH!!"

Are you living with eternity in view?
Are you waiting for someone to qualify you to go preach a word, or start your own business, or lead praise and worship, or paint pictures, or write books, or ..................????