We celebrated our 1 year anniversary August 29th.
This photo was from the night before as we both were in our good friends wedding.
I will post my amazing gift I came up with soon.
:)
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
As of Late
Whew. I am so behind in uploading pictures and posting about life but here's a quick drive by.
01. I started back to work August 16th and have been extra busy and stressed with all the changes/adjustments taking place at school. Tonight was Open House and the students come back this Wednesday. It's hard to believe another year is here but I am looking forward to the adventures and challenges that may await me.
02. David and I will both be in a wedding this weekend so we have been attending bach. parties. I am hoping to do my own hair and makeup for this one so tomorrow I will be experimenting with some updos.
03. Because of number 1 apparently I have been under stressed which has caused me to begin clenching down on my jaw or grinding my teeth or all of the above during the night and maybe even the day which has caused me to experience lots of jaw pain. So I am wearing a night guard in hopes of a corrective measure with faith that God will heal this mess.
04. David is about to start teaching Dancing Classrooms soon and I am excited for him.
05. I have a large stack of books left over from summer reading I still need to read, and creative art ideas for days. Fitting them into my teacher schedule will pose as a challenge.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Last Days with Nikita
It's only been days since my sweet Nikita had to be put to sleep and for the first time- time has finally started moving again and forward at that. Its' hard to believe that 20 days ago I was recording her with my Flip video camera just chatting it up-her being her spunky self. Her last days of normalcy were during the week of us preparing for the garage sale as she was hanging out on the basement steps with Josiah and Kaylee.
Then I noticed she hadn't touched her dry food in a few days and hadn't been drinking as much of her water. She started hanging out on the top step from the basement leading up into the main portion of the house which she has never done. She also began sneezing a whole lot. I was thinking hey maybe it's just a cold. But then I began to notice other things like her leaning to one side when she walked (almost falling over at times), and her back side was beginning to look horribly skinny.
I then started my hardcore quality Nikita time. Every night for a week I took my blanket, pillow, and book downstairs to read as she curled up in my lap. I began feeding her wet food (making it super soft with water and holding the bowl so she wouldn't sneeze or get congested while eating). It became an obsession to constantly check on her, spend time with her, be with her. As those days lingered on and she didn't get any better my heart knew this was no cold. Something was wrong. My love was slowly slipping away from me. I felt death creeping over her and didn't want to believe it, or accept it. Not yet. Just a little more time.
I found myself not having an appetite and not being able to sleep. Not exactly sure what I could do for her to make things better but yet also very aware that I could not keep putting myself through such emotional slaughter each night. So much was lingering in the air and I was smothering in being torn between letting go and denying the obvious. I called my mom Thursday (the 5th) because I wanted her to look at Nikita and see what she thought so she came over.
She was very concerned with Nikita's condition and how frail she was. Not to mention she wasn't pooping anymore. She then called Ashley who also agreeded that she wasn't looking well at all. It was decided that because David and I would be going out of town later in the week, it would be best to take her to the vet Friday (the 6th). We all knew that going to the vet would more than likely involve putting her to sleep due to her old age and condition of health. I had been very upset and crying since Tuesday but this night was hard. I didn't want to leave her. I stayed up letting her lay on me until 12:30 am. Her breathing changed that night and I wasn't sure if she would make it through the night.
I woke up at 3:40 am and 6:00 am to check on her. My stomach was in knots all day as I knew that Ashley would be picking her up to go to the vet at 2:30. I didn't want to be there when she was picked up-couldn't handle watching her be took away from her home of 20 years. So I left thinking I could get out and do some shopping. But first I had to say goodbye. She was purring while I was sobbing telling her goodbye. Another moment of not being able to tear myself away from her. Walking out the door knowing that when I would come back she wouldn't be there was rough. I cried the whole way out the door then called my dad. He told me to come by his work after hearing how upset I was. I cried the whole way from the gas station, to Dunkin Donuts, to O-Rielly auto parts.
After hanging out there I went to my parents house because my contacts were covered in a tear stained haze. That's when I got the text from Ashley that Nikita went peaceful and that she has suspected renal failure. She was to be cremated in the carebear blanket I had given her and had been cuddling with her in. That was the next flood of tears and loud sobs. Just hours before she had been downstairs in my basement and now she was....gone.
The next spout of tears came when I arrived back to my house. The first thing you see when you walk in is the leather chair she ALWAYS laid in with her pink blankets. Her food bowls were there, the water bowl, and her cat bed. Just as if she was still there. Almost as if she had never left. I had to call my dad again so I could talk to someone through my sobs as I picked up her blankets-which still smelled like her. I cleaned up everything (except the litter-I could only do so much) and put the cat stuff in the garage.
I never knew how attached I had become to Nikita until I realized she had become a part of me somehow. I've dealt with loss. I've lost both my mother's parents and our family cat that I grew up with as well as my first family dog. But for some reason this broke me in ways I hadn't felt before. She touched a special place in my heart and there she will forever remain.
I will say it is getting easier (as everyone says it will). Time is the best healer. And tears. Emotional breakdowns are welcomed and embraced. My tears have been so cleansing and no I don't feel stupid that I'm crying over a cat. Anyone that's ever loved an animal and lost them knows exactly everything I've mentioned or felt. My moments of crying are slowly having longer distances between them. I cried just the other day that the basement lamp doesn't have to stay on anymore since there's not a living thing down there that needs it. My memories are starting to bring smiles instead of stabs of pain. And I will vouch and say that in these moments we do become stronger. In the midst of it all that doesnt' seem possible but it is.
During my last days with Nikita I was reminded that I do not like aging and that death brings about the deepest pain. I was also reminded that we often get so comfotable in our schedules and routines that life becomes just that...a routine. And sometimes we just expect people or animals to always be there. But things happen. And we can't buy back lost time. I always expected Nikita to greet me when I came in from school, or be at the bottom of the steps crying telling me she needs more water. And I think in my expectations of her always doing those things, I lost out on some quality time because "she'd always be around." During my last days with Nikita I realized that I don't want to take the people (and pets) I love for granted. I dont' want to become so self absorbed that I neglect moments to share with them. I don't want to expect them to always be there thus making an excuse not to call, not to visit, not to just sit and be.
So dear sweet Nikita- thank you for allowing me the opportunity to love you and be loved in return. Thank you for your companionship. Sing sweet songs over the Bridge and be sure to take care of Boots and Kramer as well. I love you and I miss you so much.
Then I noticed she hadn't touched her dry food in a few days and hadn't been drinking as much of her water. She started hanging out on the top step from the basement leading up into the main portion of the house which she has never done. She also began sneezing a whole lot. I was thinking hey maybe it's just a cold. But then I began to notice other things like her leaning to one side when she walked (almost falling over at times), and her back side was beginning to look horribly skinny.
I then started my hardcore quality Nikita time. Every night for a week I took my blanket, pillow, and book downstairs to read as she curled up in my lap. I began feeding her wet food (making it super soft with water and holding the bowl so she wouldn't sneeze or get congested while eating). It became an obsession to constantly check on her, spend time with her, be with her. As those days lingered on and she didn't get any better my heart knew this was no cold. Something was wrong. My love was slowly slipping away from me. I felt death creeping over her and didn't want to believe it, or accept it. Not yet. Just a little more time.
I found myself not having an appetite and not being able to sleep. Not exactly sure what I could do for her to make things better but yet also very aware that I could not keep putting myself through such emotional slaughter each night. So much was lingering in the air and I was smothering in being torn between letting go and denying the obvious. I called my mom Thursday (the 5th) because I wanted her to look at Nikita and see what she thought so she came over.
She was very concerned with Nikita's condition and how frail she was. Not to mention she wasn't pooping anymore. She then called Ashley who also agreeded that she wasn't looking well at all. It was decided that because David and I would be going out of town later in the week, it would be best to take her to the vet Friday (the 6th). We all knew that going to the vet would more than likely involve putting her to sleep due to her old age and condition of health. I had been very upset and crying since Tuesday but this night was hard. I didn't want to leave her. I stayed up letting her lay on me until 12:30 am. Her breathing changed that night and I wasn't sure if she would make it through the night.
I woke up at 3:40 am and 6:00 am to check on her. My stomach was in knots all day as I knew that Ashley would be picking her up to go to the vet at 2:30. I didn't want to be there when she was picked up-couldn't handle watching her be took away from her home of 20 years. So I left thinking I could get out and do some shopping. But first I had to say goodbye. She was purring while I was sobbing telling her goodbye. Another moment of not being able to tear myself away from her. Walking out the door knowing that when I would come back she wouldn't be there was rough. I cried the whole way out the door then called my dad. He told me to come by his work after hearing how upset I was. I cried the whole way from the gas station, to Dunkin Donuts, to O-Rielly auto parts.
After hanging out there I went to my parents house because my contacts were covered in a tear stained haze. That's when I got the text from Ashley that Nikita went peaceful and that she has suspected renal failure. She was to be cremated in the carebear blanket I had given her and had been cuddling with her in. That was the next flood of tears and loud sobs. Just hours before she had been downstairs in my basement and now she was....gone.
The next spout of tears came when I arrived back to my house. The first thing you see when you walk in is the leather chair she ALWAYS laid in with her pink blankets. Her food bowls were there, the water bowl, and her cat bed. Just as if she was still there. Almost as if she had never left. I had to call my dad again so I could talk to someone through my sobs as I picked up her blankets-which still smelled like her. I cleaned up everything (except the litter-I could only do so much) and put the cat stuff in the garage.
I never knew how attached I had become to Nikita until I realized she had become a part of me somehow. I've dealt with loss. I've lost both my mother's parents and our family cat that I grew up with as well as my first family dog. But for some reason this broke me in ways I hadn't felt before. She touched a special place in my heart and there she will forever remain.
I will say it is getting easier (as everyone says it will). Time is the best healer. And tears. Emotional breakdowns are welcomed and embraced. My tears have been so cleansing and no I don't feel stupid that I'm crying over a cat. Anyone that's ever loved an animal and lost them knows exactly everything I've mentioned or felt. My moments of crying are slowly having longer distances between them. I cried just the other day that the basement lamp doesn't have to stay on anymore since there's not a living thing down there that needs it. My memories are starting to bring smiles instead of stabs of pain. And I will vouch and say that in these moments we do become stronger. In the midst of it all that doesnt' seem possible but it is.
During my last days with Nikita I was reminded that I do not like aging and that death brings about the deepest pain. I was also reminded that we often get so comfotable in our schedules and routines that life becomes just that...a routine. And sometimes we just expect people or animals to always be there. But things happen. And we can't buy back lost time. I always expected Nikita to greet me when I came in from school, or be at the bottom of the steps crying telling me she needs more water. And I think in my expectations of her always doing those things, I lost out on some quality time because "she'd always be around." During my last days with Nikita I realized that I don't want to take the people (and pets) I love for granted. I dont' want to become so self absorbed that I neglect moments to share with them. I don't want to expect them to always be there thus making an excuse not to call, not to visit, not to just sit and be.
So dear sweet Nikita- thank you for allowing me the opportunity to love you and be loved in return. Thank you for your companionship. Sing sweet songs over the Bridge and be sure to take care of Boots and Kramer as well. I love you and I miss you so much.
RIP sweet Nikita
My baby girl (Siamese) had to be put down last Friday. The past few weeks have been emotional. I plan to blog about it all but just need some more time.
On a lighter, more happier note- my husband and I are on our way to Hilton Head Thursday to get away and celebrate our 1 year a little early. Haven't been to the beach all summer and am totally looking forward to it.
On a lighter, more happier note- my husband and I are on our way to Hilton Head Thursday to get away and celebrate our 1 year a little early. Haven't been to the beach all summer and am totally looking forward to it.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Last Days/Moments in New York
Thursday evening David and I decided to head back to Times Square in hopes of finding the Target and Central Park. I also had been itching to go to F.A.O Schw. but David's training ran later that day and we were unable to make it (yet again). We stopped at a Cuban Cafe for dinner and David ordered the Cuban sandwich and I ordered a turkey and avacado pita. The food was yummy and David and I engaged in some heart felt conversations over Cuban music.
Sadly we were unable to locate the Target as we got distracted by the Hershey's Store and M & M store. The outside lights and attractions were more thrilling than the inside of the store. I do believe it's all hype and there's only so much you can do with M &Ms. I had a hard time getting excited over M &M tshirts, banks, and other paraphernalia but some people were a little frantic to grab as much M & M merchandise as possible. I did enjoy the rainbow assortment of "help yourself" M & M's. THe price per pound however was not enjoyable.
Time stopped still when I spotted the Forever21 slam in the middle of Times Square. 4 stories. I repeat 4 stories of clothes, accessories, bags, etc to overwhelm shoppers from all over. I came, I saw, I conquered but again I feel that a lot is just hype, as I walked away empty bagged but not terribly disappointed. I am more of a online shopper for Forever21 as I am not overwhelmed and have plenty of time and space to browse without being annoyed with people.
David stopped and got some Hot Fresh peanuts. The smallest bag I've ever seen cost him 2 dollars. We walked back through Manhattan to our hotel so DAvid could iron and prepare for his last day of training. By preparing I mean looking over notes, and trying to teach me dances.
Friday we got up early to pack as check out was at 12 and David's training was over at 1. After his training completion we went to grab some lunch. It was necessary to hit up Maui Tacos again before we left the city. We stopped in the Comic Book Store which was pretty sweet. I wanted to find the Archie comics but we had to steer clear of the "adult comics" (woah). Last stops were Daffys and another H and M.
It took a little bit of time to get a taxi. For whatever reason we got stuck with the Taxi Driver from H E double hockey sticks. Not only was it over 100 degrees in the back of the cab, but he insisted on accelerating and slamming on the breaks every few feet. Traffic was NOT that serious and I felt like I was going to pass out. My stomach dropped a couple times kind of like when you ride a really steep roller coaster. When we arrived at the airport my whole body was shaking and I felt like I was going to blow chunks everywhere.
David told me that he NEVER gets car sick but his stomach was all over the place and he was feeling sick too. I had to go sit down for awhile as I was sweating bullets and feeling very sick. I wanted to change shirts to help cool me off and ease my stomach pains but then I hit my elbow on the bench and started crying with my sunglasses on. It was VERY special. Worst cab experience EVER. We ended up having to chill in the airport longer than expected due to our flight being delayed (by like 2 hours). We had a crappy hotdog for dinner and my head was pounding from 5:30 pm to 1:30 am. Not the best exit/end to the trip.
But we made it home and have settled back into the swing of normalcy. Pictures will come soon.
If this post is spastic I am blaming it on my annoying husband who is sitting in the same room doing gymnastics on the new furniture.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
New York Day 4
Yesterday evening after David's training, we walked our way to the SubWay so we could head to Chinatown and Little Italy and the SoHo region of NY. I had never been on a subway before so this was my first experience. We got our metro pass and waited in the smoltering heat. Our ride wasn't long at all and I enjoyed people watching during the ride downtown. We got off at Canal Street which is basically lined with mini shops. This is where you can get your designer bags and all KINDS of accessories, etc.
We walked around trying to find somewhere fairly cheap to eat dinner (funds def dwindle down while in NYC). We found this italian pizzeria and shared an amazing pizza combo (trust me we are ALL about the deals). We then walked around Soho absorbing the sights and then went shopping in ChinaTown. ChinaTown is David's kinda venue. He was able to get : 2 Fedora hats for $5.00 each, a $3.00 belt, a 10.00 belt buckle, and a pair of $5 dollar sunglasses. Now that is good shopping. Then we walked through Little Italy which was beautifully lit up and full of Italian cuisine and smells. I could have lingered there for awhile.
After shopping and being the typical tourists, we got back on the Subway and headed to Grand Central Station. I snagged a few pictures and then we headed out on the streets to go back to Times Square. We were ultimately looking for the Target because we had a gift card, but by the time we walked close it was 10:15 and they closed at 10.
I have a GREAT time in ChinaTown and LittleItaly. I would def go back. We were going to ride out to the STatue of Liberty but opted against it as my stomach was cramping and we werent sure where the night would take us.
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