Thursday, May 31, 2007

4 of 40

So it seems my revelations will be posted a day later. For I haven't had my date with Jesus yet, but want to get down the things I grasped as revelatory from Wednesday afternoon/evening.

I started with.

Elijah comes forth as a prophet of God in 1 Kings 17 with the prediction of drought ("there shall not be dew nor rain these years, but according to my word-v 1). God sends Elijah to Cherith where he is to drink from the brook and be fed by the ravens. God then sends him to Zarephath where a widow will be to take care of him. Elijah ame into the city with genuine faith and trust in God's words of instruction. How many of us today (including myself) would allow our natural minds to spin us into doubt with a whirlwind of unimportant questions?

All the widow had was sticks, some meal, and a little oil. The state of her poverty can be found in her response to Elijah ("I am gathering two sticks that I may go in and prepare it for me and my son, that we may eat it and die). But Elijah gave the word of the Lord which brought hope that the flour will not be used up nor the oil would run dry. And so in obedience the widow went and did what was asked of her.

Soon past the widow's son becomes severely sick, to the point of death. The widow then turns to Elijah questioning his reasons for coming (Art thou come unto me to call my sin to rememberance and to slay my son? v18?) *In this time and place suffering was mistakenly considered to be the result of sin*

Elijah then takes the boy to the upper room and cries out to God. He then stretches himself upon the boy 3 times and cried unto the Lord and said "Oh Lord My God I pray thee, let this child's soul come into him again"

Lord, let this too be our hearts cry for the youthful souls that are dead, not in body but in spirit. Let our posture of prayer be that of Elijah, let us lay over the grounds of our fathers and cry out for their dead and dying souls. Revive those souls just as You did the widow's son in v 22.

Points that I pulled from the scipture:
1. There is a drought in the land and there has been for some time now. (obviously-duh)A spiritual drought in the body of Christ. It is up to us to press in and pray for the much needed rains to fall.
2. Let faith arise- When God says go here, let us go and fully believe all will be taken care of.
When we can't see more than 5 feet in front of us, let our faith carry a trust so strong we wont' mind falling into the unknown, for we've already been caught.
3. Obedience- saying Yes to God and no to anything else that tries to pull us away from Him
4. Posture of prayer/intercession -will make a huge difference in breakthroughs. It may seem, feel, or look silly but if God tells you to stand on your head to must be worth doing.
Posture of prayer has continued to rise up in my spirit even today. I know there is more to it , need to seek deeper.

Church last night: Good word, something felt missing though.
Julian spoke of the fire of God and how we are to embrace it and not run from it.
From my notes: (In daniel 3-the fiery furnace) "The very thing the enemy used against them was the very same thing that was burned/consumed in the flames/fire.
*God allows us to go through the fire for that we can get promoted/grow closer to Him
*Isaiah 6:5-Isaiah's confession "Woe is me for I am undone, I am a man of unclean lips"
The seraphim then flew from the altar (which represents fire) to cleanse Isaiah's lips with the coal.
The fire of God is cleansing and removing those things that condemn us. Once Isaiah has been purged he is then ready for the CALL.
(JRU SIDENOTE: The initial heart of repentance, admitting the condition of man, and confession MUST COME FIRST before the fire can fall to cleanse, to purge, to prepare)

*God wants to sit as a refiner in our lives and burn out everything that is NOT OF HIM.

the irony of my title for my blog cannot be ironic at all.

it's a wrap
i'm done here
for now.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Days 2 and 3 of 40

My kitchen is adequately prepared with vegetables, fruits, water, and juices for my Daniel fast. God is helping to prepare the rest. I have dealt with a few spats of headaches but nothing major. I didn't realize how much crap I slam in my body on a daily basis. Bye bye to coffee and tea (to which I drink on a daily basis), but my body is adjusting well. It's crazy but I can slowly start to feel my body drain and rid itself of all impurities. Just in two days I have already been attune to things and quickened to hear things that before just weren't coming in clear. Kind of like I was tuned into A.M but God was speaking through the F.M channel.

I started reading in 1 kings about Elijah but have much more to digest and meditate upon. I am also reading the Elijah Revolution (Lou Engle and James Goll) as well as the journals of Jim Elliot. Yesterday afternoon before a quick nap there was a particular journal entry that spoke to me. It was from Jim's Oct 27th 1949 entry to which he was writing about what Christianity has become and what he prays a new generation will carry.

"Christianity has been analyzed, decried, refused by some; cooly eyed, submitted to, and it's forms followed by others who call themselves Christian. But alas, what emptiness in both! I have prayed for new men, fiery, wreckless men, possessed of uncontrollably youthful passion...these lit by the Spirit of God" I have prayed for new miracles. Explaining old miracles will not do. If God is to be known as the God who does wonders in heaven and earth, then God must produce for this generation.."

Oh how I pray dear Jim Elliot is witnessing the answering of his prayers even now. This generation is rising and falling into their appointed ranks. Lord YOU MUST produce for this generation! Our passion MUST be one of UNCONTROL. But is this not what the Call ..this huge fast is for/about? Are we not pulling on the heavenlies to fire will fall and revivial will rain down and literally shake and turn this generation upside down, flat on it's face, back..back to YOU???

God speaks even through journal entries written in 1949.

Let this just not be the "norm" or the thing to do cuz everyone else is doing it. "Well my youth group is fasting for the Call so I suppose I should to". NO God. Let it burn depths into souls with revelation that explodes and shoves individual as well as corporate purposes in everyones faces.

Today is Day 3 but my reflection time has not yet transpired, not to mention church is this evening and I come expecting.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Ah sweet lightbulbs of revelation

I've wrestled with such a heaviness that at times I've felt suffocated in grime and muck. The will power to fight had certainly escaped my hands and my spirit felt like it had just dove headfirst into a gigantic pool of mud. NOt just any mud, but rather the deep black "stains your fingers for a day or two" mud.

Oh but praise God for shoving me forward into the "Jennie are you kidding? Get up and fight" mode, while blanketing down bursts of revelation as my face soaked the carpet.

Romans 6 pertains to our freedom from sin's power. As I began to read verses 4, 7, 11-13: I had my ah'ha moment that broke the veil to what would be the start to my healing process. Yes God's word says that I am free from sin and walk in newness of life but maybe, just maybe there was stored up sin lingering in my life. Maybe just maybe there was somewhere that I was entertaining sin, or came into contact with a spirit full of sin, or perhaps since my guard has been down...i had unawarely invited sin into my life. Not to mention if these things hold as valid, there must be sin I haven't repented of. Perhaps that is why I have felt so dirty and unworthy because a dirty intruder entered in and I didn't even have my bodyguard in position.

I am no longer in bondage to sin but rather I am a servant of righteousness (6:18)

"Glory in tribulations knowing that tribulations produce perserverance (patience) and patience produces character, and character hope..and hope does not disappoint us (romans 5:4-5) Have not my tribulations tried to belittle and destroy me? But through Christ and with the KING OF GLORY will they not in the end...strengthen my patience, character, and catapult my standard of hope?

and does Your word not further say that

If I hope for what I DO NOT SEE..with patience I wait for it?

Repentance falls and hope lands upon my soul and builds a nest inside my spirit.

Things are looking up after all.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Being Broken

but it will
be worth it
in the end
it has to be
did God himself not say it so?
Pressing through.
More like stumbling through
but His hand is steady and quick to pick me back up
Any day now.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Hearing..and listening..seeking and needing

Moses and the Burning Bush
: through this exchange of talking bushes and Moses stopping to listen it's obvious that God had something important for Moses. Moses did not have to question too long, nor stop to read the chapter entitled "how to hear from God". There was something about that voice..that presentation and delivery of authority that moved Moses into an "all ears" position:
Oh Lord how I long for the obvious, for my ears seem to deafened or maybe You've just kept quiet, kept things hidden and have been waiting for the right time to open Your mouth and drop words of instruction into my ears. I pray I haven't been too busy or distracted to notice any obvious doors You've opened. If the record has been playing, I need it to skip and play the part over and over again that is the answer to my questions. I just ask for open air waves and obvious signs. So obvious and in my face that I become sick of it. I cannot let up until I find peace.

...........I am desperate for something, anything that will sustain me..(sustain me with raisen cakes for I am sick with love)-song of songs. Needing You to prepare a place for me in the midst of all that hurts so I can come and seek whats on Your heart. As much as I've wanted to I cannot turn too far from what weighs heavily on my heart. There is no peace in this state of limbo Lord. The urgency cries out and refuses to be denied.
"Listen to me!
Hear me!
I"m screaming to Thee,
deny me not my heart"
For too long that's all I have done. Denied my emotions and feelings a voice.
oh how I need to hear His voice minister to my soul.
"Painted plastic smiles put on for it's easier to pretend
the pretty girl is perfectly patterned and put together.
Perhaps pictures skim the surface and portray a false presentation
of what lies in the depths of
Pick me apart"

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

the_art_of_letting_go explained

Mini tempter tantrums coming from no where
Have stopped me in my tracks and brought me
back to the root that caused
Why I've even sat here and gave it attention and allowed it
cannot be a thing of healthy status
As OBVIOUS stares me in the face,
and the voice of God begins to speak, for a minute
down in
to my corner for "is this relaly that big of a deal?"
As it seemed so harmless. I guess other parties found it
detrimental to future ties.
So I guess my temper tantrums
and spats of questions stem
from my forgetfullness of all that
was, all that wasn't, and all that shouldn't and
And so it goes, and so it goes, and once again
my eyes
are quickened

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Trusting and WAiting..Trusting and Waiting

After running errands I walked in the door and had a persistent press to find an old journal from 2005. It became a matter of urgency and for a split second I could not recall where I had placed it. Praise God for direction and leading me to the drawer by my nightstand. I feel I am to start reading through old notes, and writings and immediately I found things I wanted to share with others for surely someone somewhere may need something that is found on the scribbled pages.

It's funny how in 2005 I didn't understand a lot of the things God was giving me, didn't really live them in their fullness. But now the words leap into my soul and cling to the very things that dance within my spirit woman. Words and revelation have found a home and I gently welcome them in.

Elisabeth Elliot has wrote some excellent books (and her husband Jim Elliot has an amazing book full of his journal entries) and for awhile her words and meditations were really speaking to me, comforting me.
And as I looked back over the notes I had taken, I realized even now I am ..waiting...trusting..waiting..trusting.

All my longings lie open before You O Lord,
My sighing is not hidden from You.
My heart pounds, my strength fails me, even the light has gone from my eyes
I wait for You O lord. You WILL answer (psalm 38:9-10, 15)

Will and Desire (by Elisabeth Elliot)

*A pure heart is a single heart, not divided. A pure heart wills what God wills, no matter what the cost. Strength of will is to will against oneself to say "not my will-thine"*

*The Lord God will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded, therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed (isaiah 50:7)

*God never withholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good*

*As we learn to fear, honor, and reverance Him, our desires themselves are gradually corrected. Things for which we once burned with desire, lose their appeal. We learn to love what He commands and to desire nothing that He does not promise* (my favorite!)

*Let us not make the mistake of directing our energies toward what is not today's business. The best preperation for the future is always the conscientious carrying out of what is given to us today* (How many times have I exhausted myself with things that are not today's business. Too often, too frequently. Not moving ahead too soon, staying where God says stay, move when He says move)

Let me not keep things hidden, up on the shelf to collect dust.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

National Day of Prayer

and I didnt' get to start off my morning at all like I wanted or hoped to. Figures.
I pray that some were fervant and broke some things in the heavenlies. I pray that somewhere students did come together in union to press and pull and shake and break.
I was reading from the Elijah list and it seems this scripture has been presenting itself loudly and boldly (hmmmm I think God is trying to really grab our attention here:

14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14

off subject but stirring none the less..some of us are so close to whatever it is we SHOULd be doing that all we have to do is walk into it. Action..action..action.
passivity no more. (I speak to myself as well)

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Loving God, Loving Others

Somedays we are more prone to irritability from the stupidity of those around us. Today has been one of those days where as my friend Zanne stated in her last blog, "I do not like people".
And as I sit here thinking about all the stupid and retard things people around me do, and the wacked out decisions that they make, I couldn't help but hear "Loving God..loving others..loving God...loving others.

For when it boils down to it...bottom line this is what we are called to do.
"27He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'[a]; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'[b]" -Luke 10:27-

and then again here in John 15:12: This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you"

Yikes. So first I am called to love God with my entire knitted and fabricated self which HE created and formed while I was in the womb. THEN I am called to love my neighbors not just as I love myself..but just as Christ has loved me. The reality of what that means and entails to is beyond my natural understanding, for I am currently in a "i don't like people" mood. Then again this breaks my ughness and switches the perspective off of how I feel, and back to God and what He's asking me to do. Not because I want to or don't feel like it, but because GOD is asking and commanding me to love in this fashion.

It's not about me
It's not about you
it never was
it's about God

Send revelation of Your love God so that we may love others as You love us